First of all, what is individuation? Individuation is a process of separation from the identities that others have told you about who you are.  These processes are a self esteem activities because the process increases your self worth and self esteem by claiming your uniqueness and your values.  The more you know yourself and your unique voice and qualities, the more able you are to know your strengths and your limits and  the better to navigate in your world.

Self Esteem Activities

There are four different individuation processes in these self esteem activities:

1. The first individuation process usually occurs in your 30’s or 40’s. You  are separating from your parents’ beliefs.  You start claiming what you want to keep from your parents and what you want to let go of, that no longer works for you.  You start feeling more comfortable in your own skin and not feeling so fragmented. This is an internal process focusing on beliefs and values.

2. If you are married there is a time in that relationship where you must individuate from each other.  This can help bring  a more fulfilling relationship.  You see and accept the differences and have tools to communicate your differences that will eventually bring you closer together.

3. You may also individuate from society.  You don’t worry about what people think of you and you don’t compromise yourself just to please them.  You stop measuring yourself and comparing yourself to others.  You listen to your own unique inner voice to guide and direct your decisions. You decide what you believe to be true and what you value irrespective of Societies beliefs.

4. There may also be an individuation from church.  This is not necessarily about leaving the church, though you may for a while or longer or forever from your particular church.  What you does happen is you question what you believe based on what others have told you to believe about church and God  and you decide what you  believe.  This can be an ongoing process because as you grow and change, your unde.standing grows and changes. Your views become more encompassing,  and your God or spirit or whatever you call this greater energy also becomes bigger.  To me this is lifelong process of self discovery and becoming the individual you are meant to become.

P.S. I recommend the Four Brothers DVD to explore how nature can speak to you to help you understand yourself and your purpose more.The Four Brothers DVD

To Your Highest Good,

Laura Meehan, MA

Integrative Counselor and Coach

Founder and Liberator of

Ambassador of Cure for Boredom on